by Frank Gelli*

At Heaven’s Gate St Peter examines Catholic departed souls, normally, but a Pope is not normal. Being a Jesuit, it falls to St Ignatius of Loyola, the Order’s founder, to interrogate him. An angelic informant reports to me as follows:

St Ignatius, looking stern but impartial: ‘A religious lady told you she had converted two souls. You reproached her: why?’

Francis: ‘Well, I said the Church isn’t into evangelism but into being in dialogue – much more enhancing...’

St Ignatius, looking rather dubious: ‘Cardinal Zen, leader of the underground Catholic Church in China, accused you for the deal you signed with the Chinese Communist government in 2018, forsaking his martyr Church...’

Francis: ‘Not fair....’ And spouts diplomatic waffle, excuses, counterattacks, the lot.

St Ignatius, impervious: ‘Archbishop Vigano’ said you covered up Cardinal McCarrick’s homosexual abuse of Catholic seminarians.’

Francis: ‘Vigano’ is a lunatic. A conspiracy maniac. I branded him a heretic for saying I was an anti-Pope!’

St Ignatius, with fiery countenance: ‘Are you denying Mc Carrick was an active Sodomite?’

‘No, but...’ Francis is sensitive here because he had to apologise to gays for using the Italian term ’frociaggine’ in reference to what went on in Catholic seminaries...

St Ignatius, frowning: ‘You never came clean on the mystery of 15-year-old Emanuela Orlandi, a Vatican resident. She was kidnapped. A ransom was paid but Emanuela was never found. You asserted “She in Heaven now”, so you must have known the truth. Why you never told her grieving family?’

Francis: ‘How could I have spoken? Too many people implicated. The harm to the Church...’

St Ignatius, seraphically: ‘They say you denied the existence of Hell. Is that true?’

‘Well, what meant is...’ And pours out more obfuscation. (Since Blaise Pascal, Jesuits are famous for their crafty and oversubtle use of language but Ignatius doesn’t buy that.’ The Saint shakes his head, purses his lips and continues:

‘What about the Pachamama story? How do you justify it?’

To explain: ‘Pachamama’ is the name of a Brazilian-Amazonian pagan idol. Its ungainly statue was set up in the Vatican Gardens by a native Shaman, with the Pope and other Catholic dignitaries looking on. Then Francis and the Shaman blessed each other. Later the Pachamama statue was also displayed inside St Pater’s Basilica. Until two enraged Catholics hurled it into the River Tiber.

Francis: ‘I assure you, there was no idolatrous intention. Just a genuine desire to respect native people and their culture...’

Ignatius, being a Saint, a high denizen of the heavenly realm, does not condemn outright but you can tell he isn’t pleased. You see, the Jesuit Order’s great mission from the start was to evangelise, to convert heathens. The early Jesuits devoted their lives to that mission. Many were martyred. It needed a Saints’ patience, like that of St Ignatius, nor to lambast Francis for that insane deed. With infinite self-control.

A shepherd of mercy, a voice of compassion. Thank you, Pope Francis. Rest in God's eternal embrace. Credit: Flickr.

he asks:

‘Your humility. You are much praised for that. Is it real or...Perhaps an ultimate expression of pride? Tell the truth!’

It would be unfair of me to say more at this stage. St Ignatius, the great expert on the spiritual examination of conscience, has formed his own opinion.

You are unlikely to discover a similar list of Francis’ dodgy deeds in the media. The almost universal praise of Pope Bergoglio, particularly from liberal folks and quarters, tells its own story. To conclude that his soul is in Hell would be extreme, as well as unwarranted, though. Catholic theology provides another possibility. Heaven and Hell aren’t the only alternatives. Purgatory exists. An intermediate state or condition of purification one enters before being fit for Heaven - Dante placed one Pope, Adrian V, in it. As an Anglican, I am not supposed to teach it but I do believe in it. (Indeed, I wrote a book about Princess Diana’s ‘Letters from Purgatory’.)

Purgatory is no soft option. Its flames do burn, spiritually speaking, and its duration could be very lengthy indeed. Sinners aren’t left off the hook if they end up in Purgatory but they know Heaven will be their ultimate destination. If Francis is there, he can at least look on the bright side. I imagine him groaning while muttering to himself: ‘It could have been much worse!’

* The Author is a Priest at a Church in London